Love Divine: Entangled Orbit without Star

This past summer I spent a few days able to really sink into the emotion I felt in 1988 after my one and only MJ concert. I remember vividly that whole precious day. And I remember the dread of the houselights coming back up for the final time after "Man in the Mirror". I left in a daze, a complete love hangover, loving everything and everyone in creation. It was like being baptized in LOVE for the universe. My mom picked me up near the arena after the show and I couldn't even answer the question of how it was with more than a meek "great". I just had no words. I was spent, emotionally exhausted, still trying to process the total bliss. I looked awful, lol. I had sweated my hair flat and my makeup off. Not that any of this mattered. I was just gone. Oh my God, I had been there with Michael, in his presence, heard his voice, felt that love that engulfed us all, as he always explained ... the audience tossing it to him and he back to us. Wow, that was real, I'll tell you. But then, once traffic around the arena began to move we were on the trip home, a whole 70 miles away, to another city. I saw Michael's hotel as we passed by on the interstate, and then it hit me... I was going AWAY from him! My mom had to be at work in the morning, so I had no real choice in the matter. The wheels of the car kept turning. Each mile was a mile further from Michael.

After I got home that night I dropped into days of a torturous mixture of ecstasy and agony. That night was just ... well, I just lay there on my bed in the dark, unable to comprehend what had just happened. And one thing is certain: the only thing in the universe I wanted was to BE CLOSE TO HIM AGAIN. I loved him so much and now I was filled with the most intense longing I've EVER felt just to be NEAR someone again. In the same hotel, at the back of an arena, a mile away... anywhere... just close! I was just an emotional wreck of ups and downs for days. Maybe longer, for I found poems I wrote over a year later with titles like "Please Come Back". It was this utterly THANKFUL JOY that I had BEEN THERE WITH HIM and yet this terrible longing and the frightening question of whether I'd ever see him again. (Sadly, I did not see him again in this life. Somehow it just never worked out. I hope to understand why someday, but that's a whole other topic.) I wrote this poem just now about that night...about the sense of growing separation by physical distance, the joy and the pain and the yearning that was beyond anything I could've hoped to put into words back then. But this is how it felt.

And I'm curious; If you ever saw Michael or went to one of his concerts, how did you feel afterwards? Can you relate to the poem below?

LOVE DIVINE
All is perfect, I am lost,
Only love begotten here,
You are with me, all I know,
For eternity revere,

You slip away before the light,
Orgasmic bliss retain,
Left afloat in afterglow,
Will this my soul sustain?

No words, no words when asked explain,
In trance, emotion spent,
One could not Heaven's 7th ray
In human speech present,

This joy imprinted on my heart
Becomes my searing need,
As further drifting from your light,
Let not this glow recede!

Miles bending space behind,
My adversary, time,
Running clock and spinning wheel,
And you, my Love Divine,

Deepening night, now far away,
I fall in solemn hush,
Are we still one, our union staid,
As in love's heightened blush?

If anything our God could grant,
One wish, return to you!
If only near, concealed, accept,
Elation still ensue!

One more moment, one more breath,
I'd sacrifice, I'd fall,
If once my heart could beat near you,
Just once, my soul enthrall,

My inner self in disarray,
Break down, rebuild, collapse,
Separation, agony,
With love your song entraps,

Each atom of my being yearns
For nearness, your sweet light,
Entangled orbit without star,
In freefall, lost in night,

A remnant of your breath exhaled
May once have touched my lips,
I cling to this imagined joy,
No pain could thus eclipse,

Your voice once flowed, vibrated me,
Holy sound, these waves adored,
Within your bless'ed presence,
Surrender, you implored,

And thus I did, a gift, a taste,
Of Heaven's sweetest wine,
Now left to ache, a moment's glow
Within your love divine.

'Love Divine' © July 10, 2011 by D.M. - All Rights Reserved