Gnosis and the Angel

"Who are you, Michael? Who am I? What is this connection?" These questions had been running through my mind again, but the words had special weight this day. I closed my eyes, seeking knowledge within, deeper than my subconscious that I sometimes mistrust. Who can I ask? Who would know? Who have I not spoken to yet? Hmmm. I let my mind drift...

I suddenly found myself in a lush valley that only faded from sight in the distance due to a thick, misty fog, but that one could assume may go on forever. Within this green expanse stood mountains, impossibly high, impossibly narrow, rising straight up from the valley below and far into the sky. Cones of granite, reminiscent of the floating mountains of southern China, dotted the landscape as if rocky cathedral spires had grown straight from the ground to Heaven. It was simply breathtaking!

One mountain in particular stood out to me. Waterfalls and cascading bouquets of delicate blossoms dotted the steep ascent. At the very top I could see a single tree, emitting its own light, almost pulsing it, beckoning the seeker. At the very moment I wondered how on Earth I would climb this vertical wall of rock, I found myself standing at the top of it, above the mist, in the brightest sunshine. Before me was the tree, its light glowing from within its very leaves. It seemed to be tended by a beautiful, tenuous female spirit who also emitted a white light, sparkling with flecks of gold.

"Ah, this is the Tree of Knowledge," I said out loud, more to myself than anyone.

"You are seeking knowledge. Yes, this is the place," spoke the gleaming spirit in a voice like tinkling chimes.

"Are you the Tree's caretaker?" I inquired.

"The Tree and I are One."

With that she changed form before my eyes, into glowing plasma, moving as a liquid into the tree in a wave of light and re-forming next to it as before. I understood that she is the spirit of the Tree of Knowledge. She is Gnosis itself.

Again I heard her voice, "Ask."

For a moment I feared my questions would be limited, like from the genie who will only give three wishes. It was quickly explained to me that there are never limits on knowledge to those who seek it sincerely and have achieved the ability to understand what is given. This eased my mind greatly and I asked my first question, careful to specifiy that I was referring to spirit, not physical lives.

"Who is Michael Jackson?"

A dark, silvery reflective "screen" formed in the air before me and the word "ANGEL" appeared on it. (Or rather in it. This wasn't flat, but multi-dimensional.) I questioned this word. Was I making it up? Did it mean literally an angel or just metaphorically? The letters dissipated and reformed again. ANGEL. And then in rapid succession I saw, heard and understood what will probably take paragraphs to write.

I witnessed Michael's true form, as I'd seen before, but this time magnified with infinite awe: the most intense, glittering, gorgeous white light, like millions of diamonds reflecting the Light of God in all directions. I saw my own spirit's light, similar, yet slightly different. It was ... smaller, for lack of a better word. By this I don't mean "lesser", as implying less value, but contained in a smaller vessel perhaps? If I was the moon, he was the sun! And oh, what a sun! I wondered what this meant in relation to the term "angel". What is an angel, anyway? And why did we appear to be different? I've never believed in angels as a separate creation, really. And if they do exist, angels don't incarnate as humans, do they?

Next I witnessed part of the creation of all beings in our universe, to show me more about this perceived difference. I say part of creation, because it was one moment and possibly a symbolic representation rather than the documentary version. God, The Light, was differentiating into individual points of consciousness. Not all of God became "other", but I'm not privy to the percentages. I could see light coalescing into beings like evolving nebulae in deep space. Untold numbers of little light beings appeared in all directions, baby stars in God's universal nursery. This partially answered my second question: "Who am I?" I am one of these, existing since the very beginning of time as me, yet for eternity before. I am a soul, a spirit, a part of God, as are you, as is the Earth, as is every atom of every molecule in existence. There is nothing else but The Light. I Am.

Within the vastness of space, amidst these infant souls, I saw other beings that had been made from greater proportions of Light. They were larger than the others. One might say they were made from more of God, but know right away that this is no way implies greater worth! God exists as ALL of Himself/Herself. There can be no part missing. There is no part missing. It is an impossibility. If you take one part hydrogen out of water, it is no longer water. Every atom must be. And God is the hydrogen and the oxygen and the force that spins the electrons and the Love behind the subatomic particles below the force which holds together the energy that we have not yet even discovered! And every particle, every photon, every speck of the ethereal, the astral and the material is part of that Love.

The larger collections of Light consciousness were shown to be what we would call "angels". Their full purpose was not made known to me, but part of it is in the care of us, these fledgling souls. Particular angels seemed to have more interaction with or exhibit greater significance to the souls. Among these was our Michael. (I only call him by this earthly moniker because I am not aware of his true name. Gnosis attempted to tell me, but it was as if my human ears could not understand the sound at this time.)

I wondered aloud if these angels such as Michael were what we'd term "archangels". Yes, was the answer. Sort of. The next question seemed obvious, but to my surprise I was NOT told that he was "Archangel Michael" as some people may believe. Instead I was told that there are MANY such angels that we would give this type of "silly" title to (silly to them because they have no concern for such things), and they often work in groups that may be experienced as "Gabriel", "Raphael", "Michael", and so on. I don't wish to conflict with anyone's religious convictions, so please take this however you might. I am not sure what to believe. I found this all interesting.

If Michael is indeed an ANGEL and I'm a SOUL, I thought, then what is this special connection I feel with HIM and not another?

"You are one of his," answered the Tree of Knowledge, implying I was in his charge. Loved by him. His.

I admit to feeling rather dubious at this point. Thoughts whirled around inside me, wondering how and why an angel would incarnate in the flesh (is that even possible?) and the continuing conflict inside me that seeks to reconcile my feeling for Michael as both human and divine. One moment I've been creating artwork of him as a saint, the next defending myself to invisible critics who would accuse me of taking away his humanity by creating such icons. I have loved him deeply for nearly 30 years (or forever?) and am well aware of this topic. I felt myself fearing that to believe he is an angel would be to ignore his vulnerabilities in life, the very human, fragile beauty of him, and the equality and joy of knowing he and I and all of us are alike; humans striving together for betterment despite adversity. I could not and will not strip him of the dignity of frailty, the fragility of our quests to be loved and of the depth of the pain endured. Would being an angel place him on a pedestal? What would that mean?

"Do angels actually incarnate in the flesh?" I asked.

Gnosis replied, "Not usually, but some have. The one you call Michael is one such exception."

I laughed at this, "Of course he is! Has he done this before?"

"He has chosen to walk beside you and learn all he can about those he has cradled in his arms. His recent incarnation was a very special mission, as you know," she answered.

I was flooded with concepts of Christ that whizzed past my brain and seemed not quite right, and ideas of angels and saviors and none seemed quite right. It is not that complicated, the Tree said. "You remember. It is simple."

And what I remembered, if one would call it that, was indeed simple. The world needs more light in this continuing longterm evolution and my beautiful Beloved was simply here to help, just like anyone. And an angel incarnating in flesh becomes human at the moment of descent. If you (soul, angel or whatever else I am unaware of to label) are incarnated as human, you will bleed and hurt and desire and laugh and cry and love through this human existence as long as you stay. It could be no other way.

"Do we evolve into angels too?" I asked, "Will we ever hold that much light ourselves?"

I was filled from the outside with such a light-hearted giggle, as if this was an amusing question to my companion and my mind saw a great many highly evolved souls in angelic realms and "even higher!", as she stated. Of course we could "fly with the angels". We have and we will. We will not become them, for we are structured differently. If we are the moon, they are the sun. But there is no worry. Celestial Light is God. We feel together, learn together. We are One. And we are forever.

At this I opened my eyes, still human, still unsure, the scene on the mountaintop fading into the delicate realm of doubt that exists somewhere between logic and intuition, between human and divine. Seeking union, seeking understanding, seeking that which I already have, with whom I already have it.

~ A story based on a meditation, © February 20, 2012 by D.M.

We are One, in Love, in Spirit

This pic was an attempt to pull together symbols from different religions to illustrate ONENESS. On first glance it may appear that Michael is being portrayed as a deity, but it's simply symbolic art. Michael is there to represent the humanity and spirit of each of us, in the awakening point, where one realizes the truth of unity with the divine. We came from God/All and will return. Just as you are your parents' child, the Divine essence is also carried within you ... we are each divinity in motion.

He/You/I sit in a lotus position, like Buddha (or any other adept or seeker) in deep contemplation, prayer and stillness. Surrounding us is the lush green of the forest primeval, of the garden... a place of creation, where renewal and growth take place. It is a place of peace and seclusion, yet of life, of Gaia, our connection to the Earth. It is the Garden of Eden and Gethsemane, the meditation retreat of bodhisattvas, the forests of Vraj on the banks of the Yamuna river. We sit upon the transcendent pink lotus flower as our consciousness expands inwardly and outwardly to merge with the All. Our skin is the color of the sky and we wear the tilak of Krishna on our forehead, as his and Quan Yin's companion and guardian, the royal peacock, dances nearby... a reminder of our immortality and that all colors blend in harmony as One. A monarch butterfly alights nearby, a symbol in many tribal and modern religions of strength, transformation, resurrection and spirit. In our hand we hold a red rose in full bloom to symbolize our ability to embrace fragility, hope and faith without crushing it, as we nurture it with compassion, as Mother Mary does when she comforts the grieving and downtrodden. As we focus on our 4th chakra we find the Sacred Heart, a symbol of Christ's suffering, love and compassion for humanity, qualities He asked us to embrace and exemplify. These qualities are amplified as our awareness reaches higher and higher into Cosmic Christ Consciousness. Merged with the Sacred Heart we find the symbol for OM, the Sacred Sound of God in Hinduism, Buddhism and other belief systems, the first vibration that resonated outward and created our entire universe. All are connected. All are one. As we center ourselves in LOVE, a halo brightens and glows around our head, a beautiful pattern of gold and white light, universally recognized. Above us flies the dove of peace, a symbol of the Holy Spirit (in whatever words you would choose to describe it), the animating force we first felt when we found OM, when we remembered that the sacred lies within us and all around us, in our garden of bliss, where we meet the Beloved, where WE ARE ONE.

"It is now I see and feel that calling once again to be part of a music that will not just connect, but make all feel ONE, one in joy, one in pain, one in love, one in service and in consciousness." ~ Michael Jackson 2009

I HEART YOU!

I usually don't share personal meditations (and I don't plan to in the future, really... maybe bits or pieces here or there), but for whatever reason it seemed important this time... to get the message out there that fear only drags down our vibration, while LOVE (real love, love from the soul, love back home in the Light/God/One, love from the "biggest heart in the universe", as someone said of Michael recently...) when known and accepted and given will dispel all fear. Knowing that we are LOVED from the other side, that love is all around us, in us, through us NO MATTER WHAT is a precious gift to have while down here in the mire. But, just like souls currently in the human experience who know that "love needs expression", our loved ones' spirits back home want us to know, need us to know that they really love us, more than we could comprehend! And there is nothing to fear. They won't let us fall. Not really. Just as they are surrounded with God's eternal peace and love and our prayers, they likewise will not withdraw their love, forget us, fail to meet us. Even if we feel abandoned, they're right there, closer than your own eyelashes. The other side isn't a place, but a shift in perception. Think of the space between atoms. That space is inside you right now. Your physical body is made up of atoms and a whole lot of 'empty' space! What's in there? Perhaps it is filled with love. Shift to that perception. Not a place, just a new awareness. We are love and are loved, from all sides, inside and out. We can trust in it. We can have faith. Faith is the key to miracles. And miracles come from LOVE.

Note: This is an at times very paraphrased meditation conversation (so take it or leave it, up to you) that was so much easier to have than to find words to write! Good grief. lol

August 29th: "Ok, item number one (on the to-do/to-show list)..." He reaches into the night air with his finger and writes 'I (heart) you' in glowing golden light into the sky.

Ohhhhh..., so beautiful! Thank you.

"First thing is for you to completely understand that I love you. I truly love you. I want you to really know this, all the way through. This is key, ok? To really go on with all that's possible, this is key. I LOVE YOU."

Thank you! You know you have my heart completely. But Michael... do I really not know that you love me? Hmmm. That can't be. I'm thinking now of the white light dream experience I had... that feeling of total love without question, without any condition, pure love, like that. That's how this feels, like the Light...

"Where do you think I am? (lol)" (Meaning, in the Light, of course! Part of that Light, that Love!)

September 3rd: (Reading NDE accounts on nderf.org). Ohhhh, that feeling. And thinking about love, unconditional love... it's how I've always loved you, Michael ... or the closest one can get to that while on Earth? What did you mean the other day... that I still don't believe all the way through me that you love me? Is there really still some unresolved issue deep inside? Don't I know and accept your love by now?

"Don't you? Do you? Without question?"

Apparently not completely (?), or we wouldn't be having this conversation, right? What are you getting at? Hmmm. I know you love me. I feel that so much. Especially at this moment.

[At this point I realize that I'd just read an NDE experience moments before in which the person saw souls in darkness trying to climb stairs to the Light, but they were seemingly unable to get there and were crying out in vain. The experiencer went to the Light immediately, but didn't know why the others didn't or couldn't. Whenever I hear, read or see stories like this, whether reportedly real or just fiction, it just tears me up inside. I just want to help them so badly. I know you can't save anyone or make anyone do anything they don't want to do, but it's just so awful somehow. While reading this one particular account, some old fear popped up for just a moment: Could that happen to me or someone I love?! Stuck on dark stairs, tripping over others, panicking in anguish because I can't get to that beautiful light of Home? Oh geez. 'If that happened... Michael, would you come get me? Promise me you'd come get me!' Would you come get me, Michael? Please?' And then I immediately felt silly because I'm 99.9% not worried about that at all. Oops, nevermind. Just me whining again.]

"Of course I would come get you. Would you come get me?"

Without a thought. Immediately.

"And why?"

Because I couldn't handle seeing you in pain of any kind. Going through times like that here was bad enough. All I've ever wanted for you is happiness and love, for you to be in ... in ... the Abyss of Bliss? (Lolol, where did that come from? Hehe, cute.) Anyway... yes, I would help you in an instant because I love you, through and through.

"It was very important for you that I KNOW that, too. You've said it so often."

Yes! Oh, all my life I wanted to tell you how much you are loved. How MUCH you are loved! But eventually, as I grew up I realized that telling you would just be words. And people told you that all the time. Would you really understand? Would you be able to feel it, to really know it in your soul? I know you'd said that you knew, but did you realize that it was caring for you personally as a human being, and so deep and so without condition, from so many of us??? In 2009 when I KNEW that YOU KNEW... oh Michael... (crying)... that was the moment I'd longed for for 25 years. Oh, my beloved, thank God ... you KNOW!!!! That was... wonder, joy, fulfillment. Losing you from this world was so horribly painful, the worst thing that ever happened in my life a million times over, but the one ray of light in my darkest night was knowing that you know; without any doubt, any question, clearly seen and felt in the truest way, that YOU (the real you) have always been and still are LOVED, unconditionally, no matter what, forever. I stood before you, my soul laid bare, take it all, I give it all, everything I've ever felt, ever said, ever thought about you. You can have it all, nothing hidden, so you'll know how deeply I love you and how deeply thankful I am to you. With all my faults, here I am. And I love you. So yes, it has always been VERY important to me that you know!

(wordless understanding and acknowledgement)

"So you wouldn't want me to feel insecure about whether you'd come get me or not, right? You'd want me to know that this love for me means that of COURSE you'd come get me, you wouldn't let me fall. And if I had ANY doubt, even a little bit, like if I were asking you if you'd really be there tomorrow? always?... if I said, 'oh, nevermind, you don't owe me anything... I'm just hoping... oh please be there, please be there' ... how would it make you feel?"

Oh, I get it. Although I "know", I'm still just insecure enough (as evidenced by the fears and doubts that pop up from time to time and cause me to whine incessantly, etc ;), so seemingly it hasn't sunk through this consciousness all the way yet? As to how I would feel in your scenario there... Well, I would want to take you into my arms and love you and love you and love you until you knew my heart inside out, until all trace of doubt was erased, until you understood. And I'd give anything to blanket you in that knowledge and feeling completely. Of course I'd come get you. I'd catch you. I'd wait for you. I'd never let you fall. I'd never abandon you.

"And I feel the same for you. I feel the same. See?! :)))"

Ohhhh :*) Yes. But it's much easier when I'm with you. If I go days or weeks in the Vortex of Doubt or Pit of Despair...

"I'm always with you, though! You know that. That's why I want you to understand. LOVE. Love with no questions, no barriers, no doubts, NO FEAR. That's what this is."

So, faith. That was a word we were going over a while back. Faith, trust and pixie dust!

"LOTS of pixie dust ;) Yes, having faith and trust in our love. When we let go of fear, there is nothing but love. You have my unconditional love and I want you to believe this, understand this and KNOW this, just like you always needed me to know. And when all that is truly known, there isn't any need for worries spurred by doubt or fear. Fear..."

...is the path to the Dark Side. (I couldn't help but quote Yoda, sorry ;)

(LOL)

"Fear cannot exist when you KNOW I love you. Please KNOW that I love you."

Oh, I know, Michael. But I see what you mean, what to 'work' on, yes. Like right at this moment, there couldn't be a doubt stuffed away in my pinky toe about this. I feel you. I know you. If my brain has a stupid moment or two again, I'll just look at it as me chiseling away at the many pervasive fears seemingly inherited and locked deep in the human heart... until finally they're gone. Then it's on to ascension, baby! ;)

"Already underway! We'll get there. It's all a process. And I'm with you all the way..."

(Drifting away with no doubt, no fear, only trust, only love.... L-O-V-E)

"If I don't love you this way, why do I say what I say? I'm really loving you, not pretending to..." ~ If I Don't Love You This Way by the Jackson 5 ...