I HEART YOU!

I usually don't share personal meditations (and I don't plan to in the future, really... maybe bits or pieces here or there), but for whatever reason it seemed important this time... to get the message out there that fear only drags down our vibration, while LOVE (real love, love from the soul, love back home in the Light/God/One, love from the "biggest heart in the universe", as someone said of Michael recently...) when known and accepted and given will dispel all fear. Knowing that we are LOVED from the other side, that love is all around us, in us, through us NO MATTER WHAT is a precious gift to have while down here in the mire. But, just like souls currently in the human experience who know that "love needs expression", our loved ones' spirits back home want us to know, need us to know that they really love us, more than we could comprehend! And there is nothing to fear. They won't let us fall. Not really. Just as they are surrounded with God's eternal peace and love and our prayers, they likewise will not withdraw their love, forget us, fail to meet us. Even if we feel abandoned, they're right there, closer than your own eyelashes. The other side isn't a place, but a shift in perception. Think of the space between atoms. That space is inside you right now. Your physical body is made up of atoms and a whole lot of 'empty' space! What's in there? Perhaps it is filled with love. Shift to that perception. Not a place, just a new awareness. We are love and are loved, from all sides, inside and out. We can trust in it. We can have faith. Faith is the key to miracles. And miracles come from LOVE.

Note: This is an at times very paraphrased meditation conversation (so take it or leave it, up to you) that was so much easier to have than to find words to write! Good grief. lol

August 29th: "Ok, item number one (on the to-do/to-show list)..." He reaches into the night air with his finger and writes 'I (heart) you' in glowing golden light into the sky.

Ohhhhh..., so beautiful! Thank you.

"First thing is for you to completely understand that I love you. I truly love you. I want you to really know this, all the way through. This is key, ok? To really go on with all that's possible, this is key. I LOVE YOU."

Thank you! You know you have my heart completely. But Michael... do I really not know that you love me? Hmmm. That can't be. I'm thinking now of the white light dream experience I had... that feeling of total love without question, without any condition, pure love, like that. That's how this feels, like the Light...

"Where do you think I am? (lol)" (Meaning, in the Light, of course! Part of that Light, that Love!)

September 3rd: (Reading NDE accounts on nderf.org). Ohhhh, that feeling. And thinking about love, unconditional love... it's how I've always loved you, Michael ... or the closest one can get to that while on Earth? What did you mean the other day... that I still don't believe all the way through me that you love me? Is there really still some unresolved issue deep inside? Don't I know and accept your love by now?

"Don't you? Do you? Without question?"

Apparently not completely (?), or we wouldn't be having this conversation, right? What are you getting at? Hmmm. I know you love me. I feel that so much. Especially at this moment.

[At this point I realize that I'd just read an NDE experience moments before in which the person saw souls in darkness trying to climb stairs to the Light, but they were seemingly unable to get there and were crying out in vain. The experiencer went to the Light immediately, but didn't know why the others didn't or couldn't. Whenever I hear, read or see stories like this, whether reportedly real or just fiction, it just tears me up inside. I just want to help them so badly. I know you can't save anyone or make anyone do anything they don't want to do, but it's just so awful somehow. While reading this one particular account, some old fear popped up for just a moment: Could that happen to me or someone I love?! Stuck on dark stairs, tripping over others, panicking in anguish because I can't get to that beautiful light of Home? Oh geez. 'If that happened... Michael, would you come get me? Promise me you'd come get me!' Would you come get me, Michael? Please?' And then I immediately felt silly because I'm 99.9% not worried about that at all. Oops, nevermind. Just me whining again.]

"Of course I would come get you. Would you come get me?"

Without a thought. Immediately.

"And why?"

Because I couldn't handle seeing you in pain of any kind. Going through times like that here was bad enough. All I've ever wanted for you is happiness and love, for you to be in ... in ... the Abyss of Bliss? (Lolol, where did that come from? Hehe, cute.) Anyway... yes, I would help you in an instant because I love you, through and through.

"It was very important for you that I KNOW that, too. You've said it so often."

Yes! Oh, all my life I wanted to tell you how much you are loved. How MUCH you are loved! But eventually, as I grew up I realized that telling you would just be words. And people told you that all the time. Would you really understand? Would you be able to feel it, to really know it in your soul? I know you'd said that you knew, but did you realize that it was caring for you personally as a human being, and so deep and so without condition, from so many of us??? In 2009 when I KNEW that YOU KNEW... oh Michael... (crying)... that was the moment I'd longed for for 25 years. Oh, my beloved, thank God ... you KNOW!!!! That was... wonder, joy, fulfillment. Losing you from this world was so horribly painful, the worst thing that ever happened in my life a million times over, but the one ray of light in my darkest night was knowing that you know; without any doubt, any question, clearly seen and felt in the truest way, that YOU (the real you) have always been and still are LOVED, unconditionally, no matter what, forever. I stood before you, my soul laid bare, take it all, I give it all, everything I've ever felt, ever said, ever thought about you. You can have it all, nothing hidden, so you'll know how deeply I love you and how deeply thankful I am to you. With all my faults, here I am. And I love you. So yes, it has always been VERY important to me that you know!

(wordless understanding and acknowledgement)

"So you wouldn't want me to feel insecure about whether you'd come get me or not, right? You'd want me to know that this love for me means that of COURSE you'd come get me, you wouldn't let me fall. And if I had ANY doubt, even a little bit, like if I were asking you if you'd really be there tomorrow? always?... if I said, 'oh, nevermind, you don't owe me anything... I'm just hoping... oh please be there, please be there' ... how would it make you feel?"

Oh, I get it. Although I "know", I'm still just insecure enough (as evidenced by the fears and doubts that pop up from time to time and cause me to whine incessantly, etc ;), so seemingly it hasn't sunk through this consciousness all the way yet? As to how I would feel in your scenario there... Well, I would want to take you into my arms and love you and love you and love you until you knew my heart inside out, until all trace of doubt was erased, until you understood. And I'd give anything to blanket you in that knowledge and feeling completely. Of course I'd come get you. I'd catch you. I'd wait for you. I'd never let you fall. I'd never abandon you.

"And I feel the same for you. I feel the same. See?! :)))"

Ohhhh :*) Yes. But it's much easier when I'm with you. If I go days or weeks in the Vortex of Doubt or Pit of Despair...

"I'm always with you, though! You know that. That's why I want you to understand. LOVE. Love with no questions, no barriers, no doubts, NO FEAR. That's what this is."

So, faith. That was a word we were going over a while back. Faith, trust and pixie dust!

"LOTS of pixie dust ;) Yes, having faith and trust in our love. When we let go of fear, there is nothing but love. You have my unconditional love and I want you to believe this, understand this and KNOW this, just like you always needed me to know. And when all that is truly known, there isn't any need for worries spurred by doubt or fear. Fear..."

...is the path to the Dark Side. (I couldn't help but quote Yoda, sorry ;)

(LOL)

"Fear cannot exist when you KNOW I love you. Please KNOW that I love you."

Oh, I know, Michael. But I see what you mean, what to 'work' on, yes. Like right at this moment, there couldn't be a doubt stuffed away in my pinky toe about this. I feel you. I know you. If my brain has a stupid moment or two again, I'll just look at it as me chiseling away at the many pervasive fears seemingly inherited and locked deep in the human heart... until finally they're gone. Then it's on to ascension, baby! ;)

"Already underway! We'll get there. It's all a process. And I'm with you all the way..."

(Drifting away with no doubt, no fear, only trust, only love.... L-O-V-E)

"If I don't love you this way, why do I say what I say? I'm really loving you, not pretending to..." ~ If I Don't Love You This Way by the Jackson 5 ...