In Praise of "Captain EO" 25 Years Later

On this date, September 12, 1986, 'Captain EO' opened at Disneyland! Yes, it's kind of cheesy (meant adoringly), and yes, Michael's uniform kind of looks like it's decorated with Jolly Rancher candies, lol, but you know what else? 'Captain EO' is Disney and it's Michael Jackson and it's amazing dancing and excellent music... and it rules. To fully appreciate this date 25 years ago, let's not only marvel at it's amazingness and at how art so wonderfully imitated life's deeper spiritual truths, but let's put it into the context of the times...

Two years earlier Michael Jackson was on top of the game in a way that no one else had ever been. He won a record 8 Grammy Awards, the American Music Awards were basically an MJ tribute show, his name was put into the Guinness Book of World Records at a special ceremony in New York when 'Thriller' became the biggest selling album in history, he received an award at the White House and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. There was the Victory Tour that summer, Pepsi commercials on TV, you couldn't go anywhere without Michael Jackson. Ubiquitous is an understatement. Heck, I even bought my 'Human Nature' folder (pictured below) in a tiny, itty, bitty grocery store in Kansas that summer. Michael was everywhere. It was a lovely time (for a fan, lol - for others it was total "overexposure" ;)!

Flash forward, though, and it gets quiet in MJ world. There was "We Are the World" and Madame Tussaud's in 1985 and a brief appearance at the 1986 Grammy's, but otherwise it was kind of a lonely time for those of us recovering from the joyous onslaught of 'Thriller' days. It seemed so horribly lonely without the world celebrating Michael's every move. The high point between early '85 and the release of 'Bad' over two years later (two years = eternity when you're a kid ;) was the exciting news about 'Captain EO'! There was a "making of" special on the Disney Channel, a primetime special on network TV in September ... it was so exciting! Ah, beautiful Michael dancing in something we hadn't seen before, beautiful Michael singing two (!!!!) new songs we hadn't heard before! Oh happy-happy, joy-joy!!! I'm not trying to be melodramatic when I say that 'Captain EO' was such a bright spot in my life at the time, even though I had no idea when or if I would ever see it...



We didn't have a VCR back then, so I recorded the "making of" special on audio cassette (roflol) and adored those precious clips of "We Are Here to Change the World", "Another Part of Me" and some of the dialogue (which I memorized so perfectly that my sister swore I sounded exactly like MJ, hehe. "Very beautiful within, your Highness, but without a key to unlock it. And that is my gift to you." :))) And remember that we didn't know if we'd ever get those two songs in their entirety or not, so those poor audio quality clips were like gold! And I spent the next months wishing on the first evening star (a la Disney!) that somehow the universe would see fit to find me a way to Disneyland so that I could soak up every bit of MJ I could get. My family had never taken a vacation like that (we never went anywhere, geesh!), so the chances were virtually nil. Just nil. Until early that next year when a MIRACLE occurred... my dad had received a bonus or something and my parents decided to take us for a real vacation for once in our lives... to California... to Disneyland!!!!!! So yes, blessed miracles occur... I saw 'Captain EO' less than a year from its premiere date, against all odds. And more miracles may have been in store, for guess who else may have been there on my precious day????!!! YES!!!! But that, as they say, is a whole 'nother story! A-hee-hee! ;)

All these years later I think one of the most amazing things about this short film is how closely it represents a deeper spiritual reality. It's not a reality that most of the public can grasp, perhaps, but we know it. We knew it then and we know it now. And Michael knew it, too. We're on a mission in the everlasting light that shines... we are here to change the world... a small group that struggles to bring freedom to the worlds of despair, led by the beautiful Captain EO, ever deeper into love from that first moment of the music... into a love that awakens and transforms, brings out the beauty in all we see, brightens the world with its light, makes us dream, fills us with bliss. A love so major that all these many years later we're sending out a major love (see Major Love Prayer!) every month and really, with every heartbeat, for we are filled with it. "That is my gift to you." Indeed it is. Thank you, Captain ;) We are honored and humbled to be part of your crew. :Salute:! And to help us get into the spirit... "Wooooooooooo!!!!" Love you, Michael.





More info, dates, etc on Captain EO on Wikipedia. Here's the Making of:

Cosmic Drums and the Symphony of Love

"Deep inside I feel that this world we live in is really a big, huge, monumental symphonic orchestra. I believe that in its primordial form all of creation is sound and that it’s not just random sound, that it’s music. You’ve heard the expression, music of the spheres? Well, that’s a very literal phrase… I say: “Life songs of ages, throbbing in my blood, have danced the rhythm of the tide and flood.” This is a very literal statement, because the same new miracle intervals and biological rhythms that sound out the architecture of my DNA also govern the movement of the stars. The same music governs the rhythm of the seasons, the pulse of our heartbeats, the migration of birds, the ebb and flow of ocean tides, the cycles of growth, evolution and dissolution. It’s music, it’s rhythm." ~ Michael Jackson (Ebony magazine, 1992)

I was reminded of this quote (ok, and many others ;) from Michael when I ran across this article on CNN's website today about the literal drumbeats in sound made by the universe. It's fascinating. Cosmic Music from Dying Stars.

"There's no air in space to compress to ring against your ear...But it's important to realize the universe isn't a silent film, because space itself wobbles and rumbles like a drum in response to all of these things unfolding in the cosmos... If space itself is ringing and squeezing and stretching, your eardrums can resonate in response ... you could hear the sound of very dramatic events in the universe,"
~ Janna Levin, physics & astronomy professor at Barnard College

You can also watch 17 minutes of Levin's lecture (including an example of the estimated drum sound of the universe) on TED's website, also embedded below:

"thy voice doth move me so!"

"Song of Love"
Oh, speak, thy voice doth move me so!
Each word that from thy mouth doth flow
Is like an echoing melody,
When thy voice dies upon my ears,
My soul, as does a temple, hears
The calm voice of the deity.
A breath, a word, and then words cease,
It matters not, this perfect peace
Is filled with meaning, and in dream
My soul shall probe it to the core,
Just as the surf upon the shore
Would fathom the secretive stream.
Sounds which upon thy mouth expire,
A moan, a whisper of desire,
Are with my heart in sweet accord:
As, when it passes through a lyre,
The wind's breath, even as a choir,
Becomes a most enchanting chord.


~ an excerpt from the poem "Chant d'amour II" by Alphonse de Lamartine

Victory, Interrupted (How I Missed MJ in 1984)

It's September 7th. [[Serious whine alert!]] On this date in 1984 Michael and his brothers performed before a crowd of tens of thousands of fans at Mile High Stadium in Denver, Colorado, the first of two shows at this stop of the Victory Tour. That was 27 years ago.

And I wasn't there.

No, I was the heartbroken 12-year-old girl sitting at her bedroom window about 70 miles away, facing in the direction of Denver with my walkman, my "Thriller" tape and "The Jacksons Live" (the live album from 1981's Triumph Tour), crying my frickin' head off. Both nights I sat there, this utter longing in my soul to be near Michael, buckets of tears, his music through my headphones having to suffice, but offering little consolation considering the JOY I was missing. Knowing he was there, in my state, in our capitol city, up there on that stage at that moment... oh my God! And I (if I hadn't fainted, lol) could've been there, joyfully pouring out tons (and I mean tons!) of that LOVE energy he often spoke of, back and forth, me to him, he to me (again, assuming I hadn't fainted ;), one in joy, in infinity!

<-- Michael in Denver!!! (supposedly)

"My main love for what I do is the admirers. I love the fans. Like when I’m doing a show and I see the fans out there dancing and screaming, excited, and we’re bringing that joy to them, that’s what I love most. And it’s just the greatest feeling in the world. You’re up there and you’re giving them that energy and that love and they’re just throwing it right back at you. And it’s great. And that’s my main love, the stage and making those admirers happy."
~ Ebony interview 1984

"Being onstage is magic. There's nothing like it. You feel the energy of everybody who's out there. You feel it all over your body..."
~ Rolling Stone interview 1983

But I wasn't there. And I don't think I'll ever quite get over that, not until I'm on the Other Side in Michael's arms! There was no real reason I wasn't there, but my parents: 1) didn't yet understand that this wasn't a phase...they kept assuming I'd wake up one day with my rapid-onset "Michaelmania" cured, and 2) they "couldn't" afford the concert..."no one's worth paying that much", as my mom would say - but I bet she regrets that now.

There had been controversy early on in the tour because it started with a weird, insane ticketing system in which one had to get a special order form out of their local newspaper (no copies allowed!) on the prescribed day, send it in on a tight deadline (as in NOW!) in a specific envelope (yes, even the envelope had to be the right size!) with a USPS money order (only that would do!) for 4 tickets (only 4! no more, no less!), after which you would wait in the desperate hope that out of the hundreds of thousands of ticket requests YOURS would be one of the lucky ones. Meanwhile, you were out $120 (that's probably equivalent to $300 or more nowadays) without even knowing if you'd get tickets or not. I remember hearing that the promoters held on until the last minute too, so you were left waiting for however many weeks, praying to God you'd open your mailbox and find an envelope with tickets, and not just a refund. (Unless you needed that refund to pay rent by this point.) When Michael realized what was up and how it was impacting his fans, he held a press conference to announce that the ticketing system would be changed as soon as possible and that everything he would make from the tour would go to charity. Awww, Mike. So consider that he was up there dancing and singing his heart out show after show and wasn't getting paid (in money). That's commitment. A quickly forgotten fact for most people.

Despite the ticket system upgrade, it was in everyone's minds that the Victory Tour was ridiculously expensive. Although you no longer had to buy tickets in blocks of four, it would still have been $60 (plus parking, transportation, etc) for a parent to take their crying, shaking, frantic pre-teen child infected with ultra-hysteria-inducing and highly-contagious Michaelmania (that's what the press always called it back then ... like loving Michael was a virus, a-hee-hee... one that in later years morphed into the state of "crazy" or "rabid"... note: my eyes are rolling right now). So my parents chose NOT to spend that money. Granted, we weren't rich, but I still believe that for once, for something that was SO UTTERLY IMPORTANT TO ME, they could've done it. And it has always pained me (I gave you the whine warning earlier, so no complaining!) that they didn't. The real sucky part is that scalpers (aka touts) were selling tickets on concert day at face value. Agh! I was 12. What could I do? How could I get there? What could I know? I had no clue. Damn.

I did see one show of the Bad Tour when he returned to Denver four years later (and for that, oh my Lord, I am SO thankful!!!), but I never again had a viable chance due to finances and circumstances and being on the wrong continent. (Except when it was too late. We had great seats to two 'This Is It' shows in 2009. Ouch.)

So here he is on one of those days of joy that never was for me. And wasn't he just AMAZING?! Oh, I love you, Michael. As we said back in '84... you are "FINE!" ;) And so very much more.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC-7mTx1NiA
------------

And below is a hilarious story (omg, rofl) by Jamie Foxx about seeing the Victory Tour in Dallas. Start at 1:30 into the vid, and let me warn you... there is some seriously strong language! No kidding. But his story is sooo funny and also impressive. He really gives you the feeling!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs5f_-UtyGY - "White men that have brought their whole families pass the **** out!" LOL! (But tickets were not $85, lol. They were $30 each ;)

Darren Hayes "Black Out the Sun" - MJ connection

Tonight I was on the couch reading when I heard a voice from the television that sounded like Darren Hayes. I looked up to the screen and... WOW. I felt like I got punched in the stomach, sort of like the first time I saw Claire Maguire's "The Last Dance". Claire wrote "The Last Dance" about Michael, although he's not explicitly mentioned in the song. Once you know, though, it's all quite clear, especially lines like "I will kiss your crown when life takes me down ... (I've got) your love in my heart". Her video contains a few veiled references to Michael, like the restaurant that looks similar to the "One More Chance" set, the bright door of light and dancers performing a couple of MJ poses in silhouette. I only caught the last half of it that very first time, but still, it hit me immediately. Before I saw anything that would make it obvious, the words and the energy said, "This is for Michael".

Screenshots: Michael Jackson's "Earth Song" and Darren Hayes' "Black Out the Sun"

I was struck with this same feeling tonight when I saw "Black Out the Sun", the brand new Darren Hayes video. I admit to only having one of Darren's albums, but I like him and I know he's a MJ fan. I was sitting here watching the video's very striking images and thinking, "Oh my God, is this for Michael?" Now, I don't know if it is or not. Maybe it's just about the ending of a relationship or other loss, but the lyrics and images are intense. The set reminded me right away of "Earth Song", especially when the dirt falls from his hands while he collapses to his knees. The red and black clothing, the dirt, the desolation, the smoke, the red sky with lightning, the dancers in tattered black shrouds, the windblown fabrics and the bright lights all create a very powerful, painful image of loss and mourning.

[NOTE: Since writing this it has come to my attention that the song was "written with Carl Falk in Sweden, and recorded the day Michael Jackson died " - source: Darren Hayes official Facebook page. I would like to know if it was recorded before or after the news and where. It was nearly midnight CET when Europe found out what happened. If they were in the US or Australia, though, the situation was probably different. Oh my God :*( updated Sep 6, 2011]

[Update #2: It was recorded after he got the news, using the emotion of the day while singing. Whoa. I'm stunned that it was felt so much just be hearing it. He mentions Michael in the following video at 1:35 and 4:45 ... ]


What really drove it right through my heart the rest of the way, though, was the lyrics. In the first days after Michael passed, the poem 'Stop All the Clocks' by W.H. Auden ran often through the cracks and shreds of the devastation in my soul:

"The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good."

Similarly, lyrics from the Rolling Stones' "Paint It Black" (one of the most heart-wrenching songs ever, in my opinion - it simply hurts too bad to listen to) also attacked my soul from time to time:

"No colors anymore,
I want them to turn black...
I wanna see the sun
Blotted out from the sky,
I wanna see it painted black"

That's how it felt. Surely the world cannot go on without this angel, this light, this beautiful soul in it. And if it does, oh, let me go with him then. The worst times in my life, as for many of you. I do apologize for dredging this up now (I've also made myself cry), but I did so to point out the similarities with the lyrics from Darren Hayes' song and thus why, when combined with the imagery in the video, I immediately thought it could be for Michael in some way. Here are some of those lyrics:

"No, turn off the sun, take down the moon, For I don't need them anymore, Go, switch off the stars and paint the sky black, Love isn't ever coming back, There's no use in imagining a world without you, Your love was like a drug I was addicted to ... Now all the love's gone and nothing grows here, And I just feel wrong, So black out the sun."

Below is the full video for "Black Out the Sun". Let me know what you think!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJMNWTioW34

I HEART YOU!

I usually don't share personal meditations (and I don't plan to in the future, really... maybe bits or pieces here or there), but for whatever reason it seemed important this time... to get the message out there that fear only drags down our vibration, while LOVE (real love, love from the soul, love back home in the Light/God/One, love from the "biggest heart in the universe", as someone said of Michael recently...) when known and accepted and given will dispel all fear. Knowing that we are LOVED from the other side, that love is all around us, in us, through us NO MATTER WHAT is a precious gift to have while down here in the mire. But, just like souls currently in the human experience who know that "love needs expression", our loved ones' spirits back home want us to know, need us to know that they really love us, more than we could comprehend! And there is nothing to fear. They won't let us fall. Not really. Just as they are surrounded with God's eternal peace and love and our prayers, they likewise will not withdraw their love, forget us, fail to meet us. Even if we feel abandoned, they're right there, closer than your own eyelashes. The other side isn't a place, but a shift in perception. Think of the space between atoms. That space is inside you right now. Your physical body is made up of atoms and a whole lot of 'empty' space! What's in there? Perhaps it is filled with love. Shift to that perception. Not a place, just a new awareness. We are love and are loved, from all sides, inside and out. We can trust in it. We can have faith. Faith is the key to miracles. And miracles come from LOVE.

Note: This is an at times very paraphrased meditation conversation (so take it or leave it, up to you) that was so much easier to have than to find words to write! Good grief. lol

August 29th: "Ok, item number one (on the to-do/to-show list)..." He reaches into the night air with his finger and writes 'I (heart) you' in glowing golden light into the sky.

Ohhhhh..., so beautiful! Thank you.

"First thing is for you to completely understand that I love you. I truly love you. I want you to really know this, all the way through. This is key, ok? To really go on with all that's possible, this is key. I LOVE YOU."

Thank you! You know you have my heart completely. But Michael... do I really not know that you love me? Hmmm. That can't be. I'm thinking now of the white light dream experience I had... that feeling of total love without question, without any condition, pure love, like that. That's how this feels, like the Light...

"Where do you think I am? (lol)" (Meaning, in the Light, of course! Part of that Light, that Love!)

September 3rd: (Reading NDE accounts on nderf.org). Ohhhh, that feeling. And thinking about love, unconditional love... it's how I've always loved you, Michael ... or the closest one can get to that while on Earth? What did you mean the other day... that I still don't believe all the way through me that you love me? Is there really still some unresolved issue deep inside? Don't I know and accept your love by now?

"Don't you? Do you? Without question?"

Apparently not completely (?), or we wouldn't be having this conversation, right? What are you getting at? Hmmm. I know you love me. I feel that so much. Especially at this moment.

[At this point I realize that I'd just read an NDE experience moments before in which the person saw souls in darkness trying to climb stairs to the Light, but they were seemingly unable to get there and were crying out in vain. The experiencer went to the Light immediately, but didn't know why the others didn't or couldn't. Whenever I hear, read or see stories like this, whether reportedly real or just fiction, it just tears me up inside. I just want to help them so badly. I know you can't save anyone or make anyone do anything they don't want to do, but it's just so awful somehow. While reading this one particular account, some old fear popped up for just a moment: Could that happen to me or someone I love?! Stuck on dark stairs, tripping over others, panicking in anguish because I can't get to that beautiful light of Home? Oh geez. 'If that happened... Michael, would you come get me? Promise me you'd come get me!' Would you come get me, Michael? Please?' And then I immediately felt silly because I'm 99.9% not worried about that at all. Oops, nevermind. Just me whining again.]

"Of course I would come get you. Would you come get me?"

Without a thought. Immediately.

"And why?"

Because I couldn't handle seeing you in pain of any kind. Going through times like that here was bad enough. All I've ever wanted for you is happiness and love, for you to be in ... in ... the Abyss of Bliss? (Lolol, where did that come from? Hehe, cute.) Anyway... yes, I would help you in an instant because I love you, through and through.

"It was very important for you that I KNOW that, too. You've said it so often."

Yes! Oh, all my life I wanted to tell you how much you are loved. How MUCH you are loved! But eventually, as I grew up I realized that telling you would just be words. And people told you that all the time. Would you really understand? Would you be able to feel it, to really know it in your soul? I know you'd said that you knew, but did you realize that it was caring for you personally as a human being, and so deep and so without condition, from so many of us??? In 2009 when I KNEW that YOU KNEW... oh Michael... (crying)... that was the moment I'd longed for for 25 years. Oh, my beloved, thank God ... you KNOW!!!! That was... wonder, joy, fulfillment. Losing you from this world was so horribly painful, the worst thing that ever happened in my life a million times over, but the one ray of light in my darkest night was knowing that you know; without any doubt, any question, clearly seen and felt in the truest way, that YOU (the real you) have always been and still are LOVED, unconditionally, no matter what, forever. I stood before you, my soul laid bare, take it all, I give it all, everything I've ever felt, ever said, ever thought about you. You can have it all, nothing hidden, so you'll know how deeply I love you and how deeply thankful I am to you. With all my faults, here I am. And I love you. So yes, it has always been VERY important to me that you know!

(wordless understanding and acknowledgement)

"So you wouldn't want me to feel insecure about whether you'd come get me or not, right? You'd want me to know that this love for me means that of COURSE you'd come get me, you wouldn't let me fall. And if I had ANY doubt, even a little bit, like if I were asking you if you'd really be there tomorrow? always?... if I said, 'oh, nevermind, you don't owe me anything... I'm just hoping... oh please be there, please be there' ... how would it make you feel?"

Oh, I get it. Although I "know", I'm still just insecure enough (as evidenced by the fears and doubts that pop up from time to time and cause me to whine incessantly, etc ;), so seemingly it hasn't sunk through this consciousness all the way yet? As to how I would feel in your scenario there... Well, I would want to take you into my arms and love you and love you and love you until you knew my heart inside out, until all trace of doubt was erased, until you understood. And I'd give anything to blanket you in that knowledge and feeling completely. Of course I'd come get you. I'd catch you. I'd wait for you. I'd never let you fall. I'd never abandon you.

"And I feel the same for you. I feel the same. See?! :)))"

Ohhhh :*) Yes. But it's much easier when I'm with you. If I go days or weeks in the Vortex of Doubt or Pit of Despair...

"I'm always with you, though! You know that. That's why I want you to understand. LOVE. Love with no questions, no barriers, no doubts, NO FEAR. That's what this is."

So, faith. That was a word we were going over a while back. Faith, trust and pixie dust!

"LOTS of pixie dust ;) Yes, having faith and trust in our love. When we let go of fear, there is nothing but love. You have my unconditional love and I want you to believe this, understand this and KNOW this, just like you always needed me to know. And when all that is truly known, there isn't any need for worries spurred by doubt or fear. Fear..."

...is the path to the Dark Side. (I couldn't help but quote Yoda, sorry ;)

(LOL)

"Fear cannot exist when you KNOW I love you. Please KNOW that I love you."

Oh, I know, Michael. But I see what you mean, what to 'work' on, yes. Like right at this moment, there couldn't be a doubt stuffed away in my pinky toe about this. I feel you. I know you. If my brain has a stupid moment or two again, I'll just look at it as me chiseling away at the many pervasive fears seemingly inherited and locked deep in the human heart... until finally they're gone. Then it's on to ascension, baby! ;)

"Already underway! We'll get there. It's all a process. And I'm with you all the way..."

(Drifting away with no doubt, no fear, only trust, only love.... L-O-V-E)

"If I don't love you this way, why do I say what I say? I'm really loving you, not pretending to..." ~ If I Don't Love You This Way by the Jackson 5 ...

Your Beauty Flows

Your Beauty Flows,
Like ringlets
That tenderly twirl around my heart,
Blossoming vines of Elysium
Entwined in endless spirals,
As my eyes behold the tendrils
That once caressed the face
Of my Beloved,

Your beauty moves,
Like quicksilver,
Luminescent shimmer through my soul,
Mirroring bright the gleam of life,
Mesmerized in magical bliss,
Entranced by the lightning
That once had kissed the feet
Of my Beloved,

Your beauty resounds,
Like carillons,
Resonating joy of heaven's chord,
Sweetly guiding my spirit aloft,
I melt within an angel's voice,
Adored and soothing,
Blessed joy, from the lips
Of my Beloved,

Your beauty exalts,
Like revelation,
Enduring paladin, teacher of love,
Enticing souls to revived memory,
Of mission shared, compassion aware,
Bid me listen to faith and truth,
Sweet gifts from the heart
Of my Beloved,

Your beauty flows,
A river of love,
Unrestrained by time and space,
Conquering illusions of mortality,
Erasing fear, this priceless gift,
Rejoice! Embraced with gratitude,
My love, devotion,
This blessed communion,
Beloved, forevermore.

'Your Beauty Flows' © September 1, 2011 by D.M. - All Rights Reserved

Oh, someone's gonna 'Get It', alright! ♥

"I know that all she needs is my tender love and affection.... Someone's gotta get it, I know that I will be the one who will..."
Yes. Yes. Yes. Did I say YES? Already got it. Bigtime. (But we love you too, Stevie! ;)

I can still remember hearing this song (see vid below) for the first time in early '88. Michael and Stevie Wonder recorded "Get It", which appeared on Stevie's 1987 album Characters, and "Just Good Friends", which went on Bad the same year. At the time I liked "Get It" better somehow. Not sure about now. Hmmm. I didn't hear it very often on the radio, however according to Wikipedia, it did reach #4 on Billboard's Hot R&B chart and #11 on the Adult Contemporary chart. Anyway, it came up on my mp3 player tonight, so thought I'd share in case someone out there doesn't know it! *gasp* -- "Get It" by Stevie Wonder ft. Michael Jackson:


Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder - Get It found on Pop